At a major point of danger and despair in Daniel Larusso's battle against the minions of John Kreese and the cobra kia Do-jo his well to-do wasp girlfriend in full popped collar polo regalia yells, "Be strong Daniel!" It is those powerful words uttered by Elizabeth Shue, who in addition to having adventures in childcare would go on to be nominated for an academy award for her suspiciously accurate portrayal of a vegas prostitute, that motivate me today.
As Elizabeth Shue and Cuba Gooding can attest after being honored by "The Academy" its is difficult to stay in their august company. I would refer you to Piranha 3D and Snow Dogs but it would be irresponsible for me to comment on films I have not seen. Strength is hard. To be able to face adversity head on and not falter is the stuff of legends and heroes (not the tragic NBC series). Here is where I think i shine. I have strength. I am currently enduring a formidable if not epic adversary- a bad haircut. As you may or may not know i do not trust people that cut hair. Sure, they are skilled and often dexterous and artistic, but I've found with my broad stroke approach to categorization that they are, as a people, shit listeners. This is also their cunning gift. They pretend to understand what you want by nodding their inspirationally coifed head and saying something in code like, "I know exactly what you are talking about." I say code because there is a blatant disconnect between when I say, "Please keep the length, just thin it out a bit." and her reply, "I know exactly what you are talking about." As is evidenced by my now short haircut.
Disney employees are taught to point with all four fingers when giving direction in the parks as to not offend international guests whose customs with singularly pointed fingers might find our traditional instructional method offensive. Its ultimately a replacement for another method. Hair stylist do a similar thing with the small talk where they could be listening to your wants as a client. Unless of course you have been going to the same stylists for an extended period of time and you have trained them not to butcher your hair, stylists will distract you with small talk. I was tricked with small talk. Which is very surprising because in general I HATE it. This ephemeral moment of weakness has now lead me to this opportunity of strength. I did not cry. I did not give a hint of displeasure. I paid my bill and tipped twenty percent. Then I simply left the salon, went to my car, poured a Molotov cocktail, and set the world ablaze. As a side note Im told Disney employees are also trained in Molotov cocktail mixing.
Feeling that my stoic bravery in these hard times was going unnoticed by my wife I straight up told her I was being strong and not shedding needless tears over a haircut and as an honor to my example she should follow suit if this ever happens to her. After the briefest of considerations she said, "No! I will cry. My hair is important to me."
It is here that I understood the subtle beauty of what Elizabeth Shue did in her turn as the affluent Ali Mills in the 1984 original Karate Kid. You see Elizabeth understood that in-spite of their socio-economical and contrived archetypal character difference Ali Mills and Daniel Larusso needed each other. If for no other reason than to attend water parks fully clothed together, they needed each other. So when Ali is saying, "Be Strong Daniel!" she is really saying don't be a pussy, kick his ass, so I dont look like a dick for being with you.
I hope that we all can carry that lesson with us when we are faced with seemingly insurmountable odds and we don't want to embarrass a loved one with our weakness.
Unless of course your hair is important to you.
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